


Loss of Face

by Paper_Crane_Song



Category: The A-Team (TV)
Genre: Episode Related, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-02-27 21:15:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18747262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paper_Crane_Song/pseuds/Paper_Crane_Song
Summary: In the episodeDeadly Maneuvers, Face accidentally steps on a pressure mine whilst leading Murdock and BA in an escape. (One of the bad guys subsequently goes to fetch a can of milk to make the switch on the pressure plate).As Kyle, the chief bad guy, points out to Face, “You take your foot off, no matter what you do, it'll be the last thing you do.”Then he says, “I could leave you standing there.”What if he did?





	Loss of Face

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been thinking a lot about shame recently - that general feeling or sense of ‘not being enough’, and for men in particular, being perceived as weak. I wanted to use season 2’s _Deadly Maneuvers_ to explore this, looking at the episode through the lens of shame.
> 
> Face’s behaviour in that episode, the way he acts around the bad guys, always struck me as a bit out of character.
> 
> But if Face is operating from a place of shame (and he’s certainly ‘shamed’ in this episode - by coming last in the team exercises and thus excluded from the team as he makes the extra run into town, then belittled by the slightly sadistic bad guys and getting separated from Murdock and BA when he stands on the pressure mine, and then ‘bested’ by one of the baddies in the final fight) then his overcompensating behaviour, and the way he isolates himself at the end of the episode, kind of makes sense, as both are symptoms of shame.
> 
> Murdock and BA’s reactions to him also then make sense in that respect - Murdock stays close, particularly at the end of the episode when Face is standing apart from the others and Murdock goes over and stands next to him and hugs him. And then again, when Face tries to separate himself from the team, this time by riding in the van whilst they run back, BA pulls him out of the van to join them.
> 
> I’m probably reading way too much into this episode, but it’s been a good and fun and helpful exercise for me nonetheless, and I hope you enjoy reading the results. As always, I would love to hear what you think.

**Face**

 “Heavy,” he heard Murdock say behind him, patting his shoulder in commiseration, and that touch was the last he felt for a long while. Because Kyle and his buddiesdecided to indulge in a little payback after all, and the can of milk didn’t show up for hours.

 At first it was okay, standing out in the open. It wasn’t the Ritz, but it sure beat being tied to a chair in that smelly old cow shed. At least out here, he could move. Everything save his left foot, that is.

 But after a time the sun started getting real hot, and he was thirsty, and the ache in his neck from where those guys had chopped him was getting worse, and he didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of rolling his shoulders around, trying to ease out the pain. Because the tall guy, and the one with the beard - they got off on pain and weakness and fear, and he’d clocked them from the moment he’d recovered from the blow. He knew their type, had seen it before all too often. 

 “Face?” Murdock called then. “You still out there?”

 “Sure Murdock,” he said, grinning broadly for his audience, “just working on my tan.”

 “Enough with the talking,” the tall guy said.

He felt a trickle of sweat slide down his back. He could take off his tracksuit top, stand there in his t-shirt, but he preferred the layers, needed the illusion they created. Because Hannibal and Murdock, they had a couple inches on him for height, and even though he was a fraction taller than BA no one would ever see it, the sheer bulk of BA’s body conveying a presence he could only hope for. Next to them he was the A-Team runt, the one that other guys went for to prove something to their friends. So he took every opportunity he could to dress big, and if that failed, he talked tough, the way Hannibal talked to scumbags and lowlifes and crazy assassins.

And so when the one with the beard finally came back with the milk and emptied the whole can into the dust in front of him, he acted like it was no big deal even though his mouth was dry and his head was pounding and it was so damn hot.

“I’m more of a skim milk man myself,” he said, and he had the satisfaction of seeing Beard’s hand curl up into a fist, and he braced himself.

“Take it easy,” the tall guy said, blocking him, “you’ll get us all killed if you knock him off that mine.”

Face delivered his brightest, most annoying smile, and Beard smiled back in return, though it wasn’t really a smile, more like a rictus, a spasm of rage.

“Just you wait, Peck. You’ll get what’s coming to you.”

“Could you move? You’re blocking my light.”

 Beard went for him again, and Tall pushed him back.

 “Hey,” Kyle called over from the house, “quit messing with him. We’ve got more important things to do.”

“Go get the milk,” Tall said, and Beard stood there a moment longer, glaring, before turning away.

“And a double cheeseburger,” Face called after him, “to go.”

He couldn’t help but feel relieved, knowing he’d soon be back with Murdock and BA, but then Tall startled him by coming close, too close, and he forced himself not to lean away.

“You know he’ll peel that pretty face of yours right off.”

In theory it was possible to do any number of things to disable a man in this kind of situation \- a headbutt, a knee to the groin - but he didn’t trust himself to keep his balance. He thought about spitting but his mouth was too dry for that.

“I could step off this mine,” he said, putting as much conviction into his voice as he could. “You’d be just as dead as me.”

Tall smiled. “We both know you’re not going to do that. Face it, Peck. There’s nothing you can do.”

“Wanna bet?” He took a deep breath. _“I’ve been working on the railroad.”_ He sang loudly, croaking and harsh, and Tall just smiled again and moved back. There was a look in his eyes Face had seen before, too many times. _I can wait,_ the look said. And then Beard was approaching with the milk and his voice faltered.

Beard made the switch, and he wanted to say something, smile, taunt, like Hannibal would, but he couldn’t. Instead he stepped off the plate and his leg buckled and he fell to his knees, stifling a cry of pain. They were laughing and he tried to get up but he couldn’t, and together they lifted him and dragged him back into the shed, their grip on him like an unspoken pact.

* * *

**Murdock**

When they finally brought Face back, Murdock knew something was wrong.He waited until the men left and said, "You okay?”

Face’s smile seemed fake and forced. “Just another day at the office. How you holding up, big guy?” he said, addressing BA, deflecting the attention away from him.

“It’s easing up some,” BA said.

“Good. Well, Hannibal should be along any minute now so just sit tight, guys.”

It was like Face was trying too hard. He’d been exuding confidence in front of Kyle and the others but now he was carrying on the act even though they’d gone, even though it was just the three of them. Nowadays Face only did that when he was feeling real insecure.

“Hey Face?”

“What?”

He tried to choose his words carefully, but it was hard when Face was sitting all tense and closed and so obviously upset. 

“Whatever happened out there, it’s not your fault. Those mothballs stopped being men a long time ago.”

Face looked away.

“I know crazy,” he continued, undeterred, “and those guys, they’re the real deal.” 

“They’re cowards,” said BA from his pallet. “Picking us off one by one. Poisoning my milk.”

”That’s ‘cause they knew if they took us on all together it would be curtains for them. Curtains, carpets, and a couple of rugs too.”

”Got that right,” BA said.

Face lifted his head then, as if to check they meant what they said. Something in his posture seemed to relax a little. 

Murdock shuffled his chair to be nearer to him, as near as he could get so that they were touching, shoulder to shoulder, and he was heartened that Face let him. 

The three of them waited like that, together, in the quiet, until Hannibal arrived. 

 

_Finis_


End file.
